orm: (WEV: karkat)
Boss Tiger ([personal profile] orm) wrote2010-12-03 03:18 pm
Entry tags:

re: my previous post, to sate the whims of [personal profile] pob

SO I REGULARLY READ HANNA IS NOT A BOY'S NAME.
INCREASINGLY I FIND MYSELF WONDERING WHY THE EARSPLITTING FUCK THAT IS.
THIS POST IS JUST ME VENTING ABOUT IT. I'M NOT TRYING TO AIR ANY USEFUL OPINIONS TO HELP THE ARTIST GROW AS A PERSON AND LEARN AN IMPORTANT LESSON ABOUT STORYTELLING, I'M JUST VOMITING UP MY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS COMIC LIKE AN AESTHETICALLY DISAPPOINTED DRUNK AT AN ART GALLERY SPEWING HOT BILIOUS VITRIOL OVER A SHITTY PAINTING OF TWO CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE WHITE GUYS ALMOST HOLDING HANDS.
THAT'S WHY THIS POST ISN'T PUBLIC
(OOPS OH WELL WHO CARES) , SO IF YOU'RE PLANNING ON WHINGING AT ME ABOUT CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM YOU CAN TAKE YOUR POLITE CONCERN AND SHOVE IT UP WHATEVER ORIFICE IS MOST IMMEDIATELY CONVENIENT.
I'M SORRY IN ADVANCE IF YOU ARE ONE OF THE PEOPLE READING THIS WHO DOES LIKE HINABN
I KNOW SOME OF YOU DO, ALTHOUGH I CAN'T BEGIN TO IMAGINE WHY.
FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH I DON'T ACTUALLY HATE IT, I'M JUST TOTALLY FUCKING BEWILDERED ABOUT WHY I KEEP READING IT OR WHY ANYBODY WOULD KEEP READING IT, EVEN TOTAL IDIOTS.
I GUESS THE ART ISN'T SHIT, AND IT'S GOTTEN EVEN LESS SHIT SINCE IT STARTED. SO IT HAS THAT GOING FOR IT.
BUT THAT ALONE DOES BASICALLY FUCK ALL TO MAKE UP FOR THE FACT THAT NOBODY REALLY HAS A PERSONALITY OR ANY KIND OF INTERPERSONAL CHARACTER DYNAMICS OR ANYTHING ACTUALLY FUCKING GRIPPING, AND WHEN THE CREATOR TRIES TO PRETEND THEY DO IT JUST COMES ACROSS AS FLIMSY ATTEMPTS TO CRAM IN UNSUBTLE ROMANTIC UNDERTONES THAT ADD NOTHING TO ANYONE'S CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
DESPITE THE FACT THAT SHE SEEMS TO THINK THAT THE SUGGESTION OF TWO DUDES STARING LOVINGLY INTO EACH OTHER'S EYES IS SOMETHING WORTH WARNING FOR AND MANAGES TO IMPLY THAT IT'S SOLEY THE PREMISE OF THOSE SILLY FANS OR SOMETHING, THUS MANAGING TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE EVEN SHE HAS A LOW OPINION OF THE IDIOTS WHO LAP THIS CRAP UP, EVEN THOUGH SHE'S MORE GUILTY THAN ANYBODY ELSE OF ACTUALLY GIVING A SHIT ABOUT SOMETHING THAT PLAINLY DOESN'T DESERVE IT.
I MEAN OKAY FUCK MAYBE I WOULD GET MORE OUT OF THIS HEAPED PILE OF TOTAL NARRATIVE FAILURE IF I ALSO FOLLOWED THE ARTIST AT OTHER PLACES AND KEPT UP WITH ALL THE CRAP SHE SAYS ABOUT THE CHARACTERS AND HER SKETCHES OF THEM AND EVERYTHING
BUT HERE IS THE THING:
IN ORDER TO BOTHER DO THAT, I WOULD HAVE TO GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE CHARACTERS, AND I DON'T.
I HAVE TRIED AND FAILED TO MUSTER UP A SINGLE WEAK, UNSATISFACTORY RUT TO OFFER ABOUT ANY OF THESE NOODLE LIMBED WASTES OF PANEL SPACE.
I HAVE LITERALLY ZERO INTEREST IN FINDING ANYTHING OUT ABOUT THEM OR REMEMBERING WHAT THEY WERE DOING 20 PAGES AGO OR WHY THEY'RE DOING WHAT THEY'RE DOING NOW.
SO FOR EXAMPLE RIGHT NOW I GUESS THEY'RE IN THIS CLOCKWORK ASSHOLE'S HOUSE, AND I GUESS HE'S A *CRAAAZY PSYCHO* WITH *TWO PERSONALITIES* BECAUSE THAT'S BOTH NONOFFENSIVE AND STAGGERINGLY ORIGINAL
AND I THINK THEY FOLLOWED HIM THERE FROM A GROCERY STORE OR SOMETHING AND THAT WEREWOLF CHICK IS WITH THEM BECAUSE
I DON'T FUCKING KNOW
THEY MADE FRIENDS WITH HER AFTER SOME COMPLETELY UNENGAGING BULLSHIT WITH A GHOST, OR SOMETHING.
SHE MIGHT HAVE BEEN INVOLVED IN FIGHTING SOME OTHER GUYS WHO SHOWED UP FOR ALL OF FIVE MINUTES AND MIGHT POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN VAMPIRES
BUT I DON'T REMEMBER IF THEY WERE RELEVANT TO ANYTHING AND WHY I SHOULD HAVE CARED ABOUT THEM.
OKAY, FUCK, LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY:
I ALSO READ A COMIC THAT IS ENTIRELY ABOUT A SPIDER FIGHTING OTHER SPIDERS, AND THE PROTAGONIST OF THAT COMIC, WHO IS A SPIDER, IS MORE ARRESTING AS A CHARACTER THAN THE ENTIRE CAST OF HINABN COMBINED, EVEN THOUGH BETWEEN THEM THEY HAVE MORE FUCKING LEGS THAN SHE DOES.
I MEAN, FUCK, I'M NOT SAYING IT'S THE FAST FOOD OF WEBCOMICS AND I'M READING IT BECAUSE I WANT TO READ SOMETHING THAT ISN'T VERY DEEP
WHICH I CAN JUST RELAX AND NOT THINK ABOUT AND ENJOY
BECAUSE I DON'T FUCKING ENJOY IT.
EVERY TIME I EAT A CHEESEBURGER, MY DIGESTIVE TRACT IS WARMED GENTLY BY ADDITIVES AND PROCESSED MEAT AND I THINK, THAT HAD NO NUTRITIONAL VALUE, BUT IT WAS WORTH IT.
EVERY TIME I LOOK AT A NEW PAGE OF HANNA IS NOT A BOY'S NAME, MY BROW FURROWS IN A HUMOROUSLY QUIZZICAL FASHION; MY BRAIN AND I LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND ENGAGE IN A MUTUAL BORED SHRUG.
I DON'T EVEN CARE ENOUGH TO GET LEGITIMATELY WORKED UP ABOUT THE FACT THAT ALL THE CHARACTERS ARE THIN AND WHITE AND MALE EXCEPT FOR LIKE ONE POINT FIVE OF THEM OR SOMETHING
THEY'RE ALL JUST SO BORING THAT IT DOESN'T EVEN SEEM LIKE A WASTE.
ALSO, I REALLY FUCKING HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE WRITE "YEA" WITH NO H ON THE END.
THAT'S NOT ACTUALLY RELEVANT TO VERY MUCH BUT NONE OF THE CONTENT OF HANNA IS NOT A BOY'S NAME IS, EITHER.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHY IT BOTHERS ME, MUCH AS I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I KEEP FOLLOWING THIS COMIC.
MAYBE I'M HOPING THAT IT WILL STOP BEING SUCH A BOTTOMLESS WELL OF EYE-GOUGING MONOTONY, BUT I'M PRETTY FUCKING SURE IT NEVER WILL.
PERHAPS THIS IS JUST SOME KIND OF DULL, MORBID CURIOSITY.
NORMALLY WHEN I DON'T LIKE SOMETHING I CAN SEE WHY OTHER PEOPLE DO EVEN IF I THINK THEIR REASONS ARE BULLSHIT
BUT THE POPULARITY OF HANNA IS NOT A BOY'S NAME JUST LEAVES ME GRASPING BEWILDEREDLY AT THIN AIR IN THE FUTILE HOPE OF CLASPING A HANDFUL OF WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS THAT MAKES OTHER PEOPLE THINK IT IS THE DOG'S TESTICLES OF PICTORIAL INTERNET STORYTELLING
I MEAN FEEL FREE TO TRY TO EXPLAIN I JUST DON'T FUCKING GET IT.
AND YET
I AM STILL
READING IT EVERY TIME IT UPDATES


pob i hope you're happy now

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